Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
