carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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