girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
