Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
