were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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