You really coming over, don't trick.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I will pee on everything he values.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
