we're blogging at a bar
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize