Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we're so committed to being not committed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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