SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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