Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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