His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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