We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
