And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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