we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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