as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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