I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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