We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
