You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
