there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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