to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
