Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize