I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
MIDGETS
????
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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