i will never coherently bang her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
