They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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