p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
