we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
