but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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