I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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