so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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