your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
