i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
