The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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