This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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