So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
