yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Someone signed my nipple.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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