If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
