i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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