Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
