This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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