She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
