Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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