just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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