I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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