my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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