wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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