Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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