I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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