the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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