Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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