OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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