Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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