The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
