Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
