Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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