I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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