highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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