She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
